On Saturday, September 18, founder Eve Sullivan with volunteer Jason Waters, went to MCI Norfolk to present PARENTS FORUM to a group of twelve men specially selected for the opportunity to take our workshop. They went at the invitation of The Lifers Group and a group supporting children of incarcerated parents, with financial support from a generous donor who underwrote the workshop fee and the cost of handbooks given to each inmate. Eve writes:

Planning the workshop took months and getting into the prison that day took longer than expected, but when Jason and I finally arrived at the community room, in a building separate from the visitors' center and from the inmates' housing, we were welcomed with a warmth and enthusiasm far beyond my expectation. We were there for two hours in the morning, left to have lunch and returned for another hour and half in the afternoon.

In Jason's words, "I was really impressed by everyone's sincerity. Everyone wanted to be there, and they all got into the spirit of the program quickly and wholly. I was apprehensive about working in the prison, having no such experience, but we were welcomed and reassured as soon as we walked in, and the good vibe just got better as the presentation continued."

Jason continued, "I feel like this is one of the best things I've ever done. It's one thing to try to help people, but something else entirely when those people really want what you can give them. The group was incredible to work with and I think I learned as much as I taught, which is about the best of all."

Eve writing again: Obviously, a lot of sadness and pain lies beneath the inmates' eagerness to talk about their children and their desire to be better fathers. They spoke freely about wanting to keep their kids from making the mistakes they had made. The experience of being with a group of people so ready and willing to consider what parents do right and how we sometimes go wrong was exhilarating.

I couldn't help but think that inmates' families and the prison guards - they have families too - could also benefit from PARENTS FORUM. As the comments below show, the inmates themselves really liked the workshop and want to establish an ongoing PARENTS FORUM program. Their comments included these glowing words:

INMATE'S COMMENTS

I enjoyed the entire workshop. I was most affected by the instruction through role plays. It was interesting how the participants were first asked how they felt about it.

What I enjoyed most were the skits. Also I liked the portion about "when someone new comes into the family" and "when someone leaves the family." I also enjoyed the surrounding, Eve and Jason made me feel comfortable enough to share some personal thoughts.

I liked the idea that I got to listen about other peoples' problems. I now know that I am not the only one with problems.

I liked [the program's] simplicity and easy to follow format.

I really enjoyed the emphasis being placed on personal responsibility of each parent and the fact that we were allowed to interact through role playing. I also gained a deeper insight into the choices and consequences of those choices we make as parents.

I wish we had more time (sad face).

It was better than expected. Several times I felt I was being caught up by my memories and asked myself (for the first time in years) how I felt.

I'm just searching for a way to be a better parent. And what I've learned today will help me in the future with my kids.

I did not expect to learn as much as I did. I learned communications skills which I can use when dealing with my children, parents, family, etc. The skills can also be used in prison life, to defuse situations.

I liked everything. The un-expected thing was how simple it was to understand and embrace.

I didn't expect the great feeling I had when it was all done. The whole thing was so uplifting for me personally.

I loved everything about the forum. The unexpected part came when I was asked to role play as a bully. It afforded me the opportunity to see it through the eyes of someone else.

The impact on us as prisoners is huge!

We don't have groups here that teach us how to better communicate with our children. Men in prison will usually re-join their families upon release, and they must have the skills they need to help their children not make the mistakes that they have made. The PARENTS FORUM workshop helped to provide these much needed skills.

Men in prison are not used to communicating with children and families on the level in which the forum taught.

Thank you! I hope we see you again. Your workshop is a blessing to us all, and will be a blessing to our children.

This is worth repeating and developing as a program within the DOC for parents who are incarcerated.

I hope to see this workshop blossom and come into the institutions statewide. Thank you very much.

View postcard from participants »

If you are concerned about crime in your neighborhood and want to be part of positive change in the community, send your donation to support PARENTS FORUM programs in correctional facilities. Please be as generous as you can.

If you are interested in hosting or sponsoring a workshop either in your community or in a prison, or if you have any questions e-mail us or call 617 - 864-3801.

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