PARENTS FORUM grew out of a serious family crisis. Some years ago, one of my teenage children was out of control. Despite the efforts of teachers, doctors, counselors, and court officers who all tried to help us, his father and I did not find effective, long-term support for our son or ourselves in any of the traditional settings.

Successful resolution of our common problems eventually came through the experience of participating in a therapeutic community focused on recovery from addiction, particularly alcohol and drug abuse, called Straight New England. It was a host-home based family treatment program, in existence from approximately 1986 to 1993.

As clients in Straight for more than 20 months, our troubled young person, his siblings, his father and I, along with more than a hundred other families, learned how alcoholism affects families and individuals. We learned that alcoholism, at its core, is a disease of feelings. With a lot of hard work, my ex-husband and I each succeeded in rebuilding our relationship with our son.

Since that desperate time, now happily over, I have learned to put the lessons of recovery to work in day-to-day family situations. I have also found these lessons invaluable outside my family life, in situations involving difficult people and challenges at work and elsewhere.

Many of us find ourselves, as parents, on a pendulum swinging between being too permissive and too harsh. We need to learn to strike a balance that provides consistency yet allows flexibility in response to our children's changing needs.

In talking with other parents and asking yourself hard questions about your motivations, you may come, as I did, to see your family situation more clearly. Even if you find yourself veering off the happy an d loving path you first envisioned for yourself and your family, you will probably be able to see problems when they are still relatively small. You will, most likely, be better able to seek advice and support of family and friends, or professional help if necessary, before things get to a crisis point.

In PARENTS FORUM we recognize that many individuals, from diverse backgrounds, may not have learned effective ways to confront the conflicts and strong feelings that arise in family life. As we seek to become better parents, a basic task is to improve our communication skills. Anyone can use these practices in the interest of personal growth, improved family relationships and friendships, learning, fellowship or service.

Milestones and Recognition

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